Projectors in Dating 🌹

Since I have you here, and since it is Valentine's Day - the day of love and romance - shall we speak a little about my thoughts and feelings and observations and field research when it comes to dating and romance AS a Projector?

Firstly, Invitation. Yes - Projectors are to enter into romance through being Invited. However, if you caught the IG live that Abby and I did the other day (the replay is on her profile now, if you missed it!) you will know that the way I think about Invitations is as if you are wanting to be Invited into somebody's house.

You could just stand outside their door and give telepathic messages that you are here, OR, you could knock.

Which one is more likely to result in being Invited in?

And so the KNOCKING part of Being Invited is letting the Universe and/or the world of humans KNOW that you are here, you are available, even that you are interested. If this is in dating and for a specific person you are hoping to be Invited by, this could be a flirty touch, a literal “I like you” - all the many ways we can signal our interest without literally DOING the Inviting.

It could just be signing up for a dating app, letting the Universe know (and the people of the world) that you are available. If you are simply staring at the world or this person from a distance wondering why they don’t Invite you on a date, it is because they probably have no idea you are interested.

Invitations don’t work like that.

Flirting is not the same as NOT waiting to be Invited. Letting someone know that you are an option for them, is not the same as NOT waiting to be Invited.

Next, Recognition. Of course, the deepest Soul desire of a Projector in love is to be truly recognised by their partner. Oh we pine; we burn; we perish!!!! To be seen and loved and recognised by the one who we love and see and recognise.

And so this is the other most important thing. Does this person make an attempt to recognise you? DO they recognise you? Are you the person they are Inviting to this date, or are they Inviting the version of yourself you’ve pretended to be?

This is why the dance of presenting a false self while dating is just silly (for everyone, but especially for Projectors). Because as a Projector, you know all too well how to be someone who the other person will love. Your gifts in seeing the other means you can see what the other person desires - and you can meld yourself to be that person’s exact dream lover.

You may know of my most adored habit of sharing Taylor Swift lyrics that perfectly reflect her being a Human Design Projector:

“The idea you had of me, who was she? A never needy, ever lovely jewel, whose shine reflects on you.”

So yes, the Projector will be exactly who the person wants, in order to get that Recognition. But once they start a relationship, or get deeper into dating, the Projector will quickly realise that as they reveal their authentic Self, the Recognition starts to disappear. (Maybe). It is the choice:

Do I stay as the False Self, to continue to receive this False Recognition?

OR

Do I reveal by authentic Self, risk losing this False Recognition, and be left feeling even more unseen by this person?

And of course, you can guess my point of view AND what my observations of Projectors in Love field research has shown. Be yourself, your authentic self, from as early in the dance of dating as you can. If you’ve been married 20 years, start now. False Recognition will NEVER EVER EVER be an adequate substitute for someone truly SEEING you, all of you. It will never nourish your Soul in the way you long for it too.